Now that I have finally taken the time to look through my year, realising just how little I’ve shared of it, it makes me want to go back and do it all over again. For some reason (and I’ve blamed it on the universe and some kind of mystical energy) this year has been a little harder than others. I could never explain it in exact words, but something felt off. Work, life, family and balance, seemed to be one ball being dropped after another. I know many times it’s my own doing, it’s focusing on what I may not be doing quite right instead of appreciating what I am doing, whether right or wrong and the never ending search of whats missing…when all you really need is often right in front of you. “Grass is always greener” sound familiar? And if you’re anything like me, you may often kill your own joy by comparing it to someone else’s. But the truth is, we all have our own path as much as we may want to be following in someone else footsteps, it’s never feel quite the same as sticking to your own journey.
Strangely, I feel that in my photography I’m where I want to be, or at least I’m in the direction I want to be facing. I don’t believe we will ever be 100% satisfied, which doesn’t mean we can’t be 100% happy. It simply means that we will always strive for more, constantly trying to better ourselves and understanding that whether you’ve been doing something for 5, 10 or 30 years, you’ll never stop learning and nor should you ever want to.
I often place myself in a corner, believing that’s where I belong and that’s where I’ll be safe from the outside world and it’s judgements. Yet give me a camera and ask me to photograph you and I’m in my own world of happy. So either I should carry my camera around me all the time and constantly take pictures of everyone, or I simply start being the person I am with camera in hand, in my every day. It really is where my true heart lies.
And it brings me to Beau, despite all he faced during his first year of life, all I saw and all I can remember, is the love. The joy he found in the simplest things; an apple, a cuddle from mum, getting rid of his clothes and showing us his new tricks. Often the amazing isn’t quite found at the surface, depending on where we are in life, but it doesn’t take much digging to find it. I’m just so grateful people give me the privilege to capture it.
